Emotional intelligence (or EI for short) is a hot topic these days. Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More than IQ, says that EI, at the most general level, refers to the abilities to recognize and regulate emotions in ourselves and in others.
The basic premise of EI is that, as we become increasingly self-aware, we will be able to better manage ourselves, notice what is going on in the people around us, and manage our relationships.
According to a growing number of researchers, EI accounts for 85-90 percent of the difference between highly successful leaders and average leaders! These researchers are discovering that building EI can increase organizational effectiveness in the following areas:
- Employee recruitment and retention
- Development of talent
- Teamwork
- Employee commitment, morale, and health
- Innovation
- Productivity
- Efficiency
- Sales
- Revenues
- Quality of service
- Customer loyalty
The four major domains within EI are:
- Self-awareness – Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions
- Self-management – Managing ones’ internal states, impulses, and resources
- Social Awareness – Knowing how to handle one’s relationships and being aware of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns
- Relationship Management – Managing relationships to inspire others to be and do their best
From a Christian leadership perspective, the goal of EI is to better understand who we are in Christ and where we are at in the process of transformation (self-awareness). EI also helps us to manage and grow the personal resources that God has entrusted to our care (self-management), and to serve God by loving others (more possible when we’re socially aware) and helping them reach their full potential in Christ (that’s where relationship management comes in).
I am convinced that increasing our EI will significantly enhance our effectiveness as Christian leaders. The question, then, is how do we purposefully grow our EI? The two fundamental strategies for raising EI are: 1) building awareness and 2) managing ourselves and our relationships.
Building Awareness
Several years ago, I did the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 assessment by Travis Bradbury and Jean Greaves that gauges one’s effectiveness in the four EI domains. My scores revealed that two of the domains could be strengths while other two definitely needed some help. The assessment gave me three strategies to work on, which I found helpful. In addition, just taking the time to think about EI and discuss it with others increased my awareness. When I retook the EI 2.0 assessment 15 months later, I was excited to see that my scores in all four domains had increased significantly. More than that, I noticed that taking practical steps to increase my emotional awareness was paying off in my own emotional growth and capacity to bridge with others.
Managing Ourselves and Our Relationships
As we become more aware of our emotions and what is going on around us, we move into a better position to manage ourselves and others. Some of the key strategies for self-management include recognizing and regulating our emotions, sharing our feelings with others, and increasing our ability to adapt to new realities. Strategies for managing others include developing deeper relationships, strengthening a team by evaluating team effectiveness and purposefully growing healthy team dynamics (and minimizing unhealthy ones), and identifying and working through conflict.
David Caruso reminds us that “emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head – it is the unique intersection of both.” EI brings our emotional and cognitive sides together in a way that helps us to live and lead in a maximum way.
Tending to our emotional health is an important spiritual discipline because it greatly affects our ability to love God, and to love others even as we love ourselves.